Post by sprinkles on Jul 1, 2008 22:35:40 GMT -6
God I'm a fag
Freddy Jones
Alright guys, the name's Freddy. Not Fred, and I don't want any of this Frederick bullshit. I'm not some fucking old German man, thanks. Ok well, gosh I don't really know what the fuck to say about myself. I'm a dude, obviously. If you haven't figured that much out yet you're worse off than I'll ever be. I like... things. See, any other time I could list off four fucking billion things that I like, but since I'm all under pressure I don't know what the fuck to say. I guess I like saying fuck. There you go. There's your piece of info about me.
Oh, I have some more. I like music, who doesn't (except Anthony, this asexual kid I know that's always saying guten tag to everyone even though we can't speak German). My favourite bands are kind of hard to choose from, I listen to a lot of stuff. I really like The Beatles, though I kind of feel bad for what is happening to their music. I knew this girl, Manda, who was this really stupid bitch. One time she was all trying to be smart with me and said she liked The Beatles and I was like, "Oh what album", and she was like "Across the Universe". I wish she'd get smacked in the fucking head with something, like a soccer ball. Hmm. The Strokes are another (fave band)!
I'm eighteen, born December 15th if I recall correctly. I'm white. I have a mom, she's a bitch. Don't have a dad, I don't really call her weekly boyfriends fill in dads. I'm single, but I like it that way. I've dated about two girls and they were all "Freddy! You are so obnoxious! You think everyone else is a complete dumbass, don't you? Because that's how you're making me feel!" Fucking whores. I don't need a girlfriend when I have my bong. I smoke weed a lot, if you couldn't tell from this retarded character description.
Other than getting high in my spare time I draw, work at McDonalds, and watch nature documentaries. My aunt sends a shitload of nature docs to me every year, she has some job with National Geographic so I'm set. I like eels and tree frogs a lot. I'm vegetarian. I'm about 5'8" I guess, wish I was taller. I'd say my best features are my kneecaps and elbows, they are oh so sexy. I've got brown hair, it's messy a lot. Blue eyes. I was 152 lbs the last time I checked, in the emo world that makes me a fatass.
This feels like a fucking dating ad. Christ almighty this is humiliating.
Okay, I'm getting fed up with talking about myself so here you go. I don't dye my hair, I don't wear girls clothing, I don't have piercings on my face or anywhere else (thank goodness) or gay tattoos of birds or skulls on me to prove I am totally hardcore. I'm a very good boy, with very keen interests.
Perhaps you are wondering what is up? Why, it is the ceiling, my assumingly much shorter friends and companions. And while you're sitting there in the sun being all pathetic and sad, you'll go, 'Oh my God, Freddy knows it all. I knew it all along!' But by the time you realize it, it shall be too late. I will never forgive your mindless arrogance.
P.S.There's chalk putting in my soapy knickers!
P.P.S. I am fucking bizarre.
Interesting Facts
I hate needles.
Star Wars > Porn
I fucking love Shakira. She is the hottest woman alive. I used to love Jessica Simpson, don't ask me why. My first love was Princess Leia.
Aliens fucking exist. The government is covering it up. Scientoligists have it right. I mean, if Beck is one of them, that has to mean something...
I've had quite a few relationships forced on me in roleplays I did not want to be in. For example, Lysander was this kid that like, did not know what sex was and was all multiple personality disorderish. Some other chick I can't remember was raped by her dad. I am not attracted to people like that okkkkkkkkk, so if you are like that stay away from me I will probably hate you. I am not going to sit around and hug you and give you the love your daddy never gave you (or uh, in some cases they gave you too much love). So yeah. Don't expect me to be some fantastic guy that's going to come save the day. I'd rather watch T.V. to be honest.
I'm an asshole.
Some day I will fucking start a jazz band, with or without Lana. I can't really sing or play instruments or anything, but I totally have a mandolin. It's what my uncle left me when he croaked.
I have the same name as that guy from Scooby Doo, Freddy Jones. I don't have a middle name, my mom couldn't be bothered I guess. My friends are always like "JEEPERS, Freddy, let's go to da mystery machine" and it's just like "GO FUCK YOURSELF :@"
Fortune cookies know it all man.
I know batboy. He tells me about his adventures growing up as a recluse in a Budapest castle with only the bats to raise him. Oh and he taught me this:
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I wish my name was Sergio. And no, Bri, not because of Sergio Ramos.
Welp, that's about it. Hope you enjoyed uh... learning about my life and pls pls don't stalk me too badly I won't mind if you're hot/rich though.
Newaiz, gotta go jack off (j/o!). Peace out guyz.
